The Hate Machine Cast of Characters
An almost-complete guide to your favorite and not-so-favorite Hate Machine characters!
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Kurt Interests: corn Roommate: Mac Favorite word: "Fuck" Voice: mojo |
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Harvey Interests: Veronica Roommate: BJ Voice: -PING!- |
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| Leonard Pet: Clubby the seal Roommate: Unknown Voice: -PING!- |
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| John "Mac" Makahini'ilimauialikalahikakiliwanalikiahai Roommate: Kurt Jersey #999 Voice: -PING!- |
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| Billy Ray Hewitt Interests: the military Roommate: Felix Voice: -PING!- |
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| B.J. Favorite Posession: Jean Claude Van Damme back massager Roommate: Harvey Voice: mojo |
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| Felix Interests: his MPA, kissing ass Roommate: Billy Ray Voice: -PING!- |
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| Rashawn Clinton Interests: microbrews, political science Roommate: Danté Voice: -PING!- |
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| Danté Kerr Interests: basketball, inner-city gangs Roommate: Rashawn Voice: -PING!- |
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Sgt. Robot Voice: -PING!- |
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| Major Sonny Dunkel CS-42 Air Officer Commanding Voice: -PING!- |
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| Veronica Roommate: Sam Voice: Gina Ryder |
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Sam Roommate: Veronica Voice: N/A |
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Toner Finishes people's... Voice: -PING!- |
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Sounderson Also finishes people's... Voice: -PING!- |
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Smack (They all look the same to us) Interests: Avoiding upperclassmen, hanging out at Arnold Hall, trying to get transferred to one of USAFA's normal kooshy squadrons Doesn't know the response to "Carry On" Voice: -PING!- |
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Cadet Fourth Class Handy Fulfills CS-42's "differently abled" quota Holds the USAFA pushup record Voice: N/A |
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[Unknown] Roommate: Leonard Voice: N/A |
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Clubby Owner: Leonard Voice: N/A |
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Major Collins CS-42 Air Officer Commanding Interests: anally self-pleasuring Voice: -PING!- |
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Talon Token cracker Interests: smoking crack Voice: -PING!- |
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Jet Token oriental whore Interests: slutting around, giving it up Voice: Susan Grant ('82) |
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Sanchez Token Mexican Interests: shooting up, reacharounds Voice: -PING!- |
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Ratchet Token hick Interests: smoking Sanchez's pole Voice: -PING!- |
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Doc Token black female Interests: self-medicating Voice: -PING!- |
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Blue Token canine Interests: licking his own genitalia Voice: N/A |
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Crunch [DECEASED] Token black male Voice: -PING!- |
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Munch [DECEASED] Token dyke Voice: -PING!- |
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Zanax Token extra-terrestrial Voice: -PING!- |
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(Brigadier/Major) General Goerbels Minister of Propoganda, USAF Voice: -PING!- |
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Major Major General Goerbels' assboy Voice: -PING!- |
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Recruiting Officer Purveyor of propoganda Voice: N/A |
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"Bitch Airman" Works in registrar's office Voice: N/A |
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Chuck "Chops" Buster [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
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Mr. Gladhand [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
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TSgt "Hey" Interests: Falcon football Favorite word: "Hey" Voice: -PING!- |
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Harvey's Old AOC CS-40 Air Officer Commanding Voice: -PING!- |
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Dentist Voice: -PING!- |
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Random Cadet Voice: -PING!- |
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Dead Cadet |
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Instructor Pilot 1 [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
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Instructor Pilot 2 [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
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Instructor Pilot 3 [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
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Falconeer [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
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Tom Servo Temporary replacement for Sgt. Robot Voice: -PING!- |
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Crow Temporary replacement for Sgt. Robot Voice: -PING!- |
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Bumblebee Temporary replacement for Sgt. Robot Voice: -PING!- |
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Robocop Temporary replacement for Sgt. Robot Voice: N/A |
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ED-209 Temporary replacement for Sgt. Robot Voice: N/A |
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Deer They all look the same to us Voice: N/A |
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Jack Voice: -PING!- |
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Warden [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
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Prison guard #1 Purveyor of foreshadowing Voice: -PING!- |
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Prison guard #2 Voice: -PING!- |
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Sgt Pepper Voice: -PING!- |
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Paco [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
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Pablo [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
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John Coffey [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
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Hannibal Lecter [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
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Hamburglar [DECEASED] Favorite word: "Robble" Voice: -PING!- |
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Juanito Voice: N/A |
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Rip Russell eNN correspondent Voice: -PING!- |
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Trial TV Judge Convicted Sgt Robot to death Voice: -PING!- |
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Trial TV Bailiff Voice: -PING!- |
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Trial TV Lawyer Tried Sgt Robot Voice: -PING!- |
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Prosecuting Attorney Tried Mr. E Voice: -PING!- |
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Jury Foreman Found Mr. E to be not guilty, more or less Voice: -PING!- |
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Trial TV Announcer Interests: Cocaine, homosexuality Voice: -PING!- |
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Marine Kills: 3 Voice: N/A |
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Private |
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James Hetfield Interests: Covering shitty music, sucking Voice: mojo |
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Gary Coleman Appears in TV's Diff'rent Strokes: The Next Generation Voice: -PING!- |
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Jerry Lewis Appears on the Jerry Lewis Channel 24-7 Voice: -PING!- |
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Priest Voice: -PING!- |
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Boy Honorary executioner Voice: N/A |
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"Dr." Desmond Van Zorn Corn "Expert" Voice: -PING!- |
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Senator Roger Grumblemeyer U.S. Senator from Nebraska (R) Favorite word: "Children" Voice: -PING!- |
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"Mr. E" Corn User/Abuser Voice: -PING!- |
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Hispanic-American Mexican BLT King victim Voice: -PING!- |
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Antonio Sopraño BLT King victim Voice: -PING!- |
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Carmelita Sopraño Voice: -PING!- |
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Dr. Milfa Voice: -PING!- |
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Junior Sopraño Pronounced "Hoon-yor" Voice: -PING!- |
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El Chakal de Trompeta Annoying Mexican TV character Voice: N/A |
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Darth Vader Lord of the Sith Voice: -PING!- |
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Luke Skywalker Fool Voice: -PING!- |
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Maxx Tracker Tough cop with a keen sense of sight and taste Voice: -PING!- |
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Trixi Specialty: Enhancing Voice: Meghan the Playboy Model |
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Vito Baldwin One of many in the Baldwin cluster Voice: N/A |
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Big Daddy Don The local weatherman Voice: -PING!- |
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Recruitee Voice: N/A |
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BLT King Voice: N/A |
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Dan BLT King employee Voice: -PING!- |
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Dirty Cooter Local business owner Voice: -PING!- |
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Wookiee [DECEASED] Russian cosmonaut Voice: -PING!- |
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Ted Offerson [DECEASED] Leonard's Sponsor Voice: -PING!- |
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Sue Offerson [DECEASED] Leonard's Sponsor Voice: Ali the Hooters Manager |
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Sarah Offerson [DECEASED] Leonard's Sponsor Voice: Ali the Hooters Manager |
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Jake Offerson [DECEASED] Leonard's Sponsor Voice: -PING!- |
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Debra Flinn Leonard's New Sponsor Voice: Ali the Hooters Manager |
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Emmanuel Lewis Offersons' neighbor Voice: N/A |
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Kurt's Sponsor Voice: -PING!- |
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Kurt's Sponsor's Wife Voice: -PING!- |
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Rashawn's Sponsor [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
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Harvey's Male Sponsor Voice: -PING!- |
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Harvey's Female Sponsor Voice: -PING!- |
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Casier Chargé Leader of the anti-American faction of the French Canadian rebels Voice: N/A |
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Hijacker 1 [DECEASED] Voice: N/A |
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Hijacker 2 [DECEASED] Voice: N/A |
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Hijacker 3 [DECEASED] Voice: -PING!- |
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Gripes? Complaints? Inquiries? Problems? Uncertainties? Doubts? Queries? Remarks? Commentary? Explanations? Additions? Retractions? Anxieties? Worries? Observations? Clarifications? Interpretations? Statements? Greviances? Criticisms? Protests? Qualms? Reservations? Fears? Suspicions? Bellyaches? Accompaniments? Embellishments? Add-ons? Riders?
Write to -PING!-